This morning I didn’t eat breakfast till about 10:30. I awaiting an email back from Malka and Phil to see if they wanted me to clean. Their many heaters were not on, and their windows were open, so I could breathe in there comfortably, also, I didn’t smell the smell of their house after, so that’s good. I got a message bac around 9:00. So I cleaned their house from 11:15 to 12:15 and proceeded with 50 Shekels and a whole bunch of Bamba that I was planning to give one to Dori, but she didn’t have her bag with her, so I put everything in my closet. After that Shmuel and my mom had called to tell me I was being sent home for not taking the corona test. I went twice, and the lines were very long, and I think we needed a Tav Yarok because I saw people’s phones getting scanned at the entry and being given numbers. After that I came home to a lunch of Hummus, and Pita. Then I ate a Carrot and made my way back out towards the First Station / Mesila area with all my stuff. It was about 4:00 and I knew Dori was coming, so I kept doing loops and loops till she decided to leave, and walk behind me for a while till I turned around at the burger place where she talked to 2 groups of people. She also talked to people at the first station, but I was not up in her face about it, giving her space. I saw her from down the tracks and kinda made our paths collide. She said “Daniel!” the code to your Door is 0707 Key? and I said, yup! I told her our door was broken, and I was surprised she remembered that. She said “Same time, same place?” and I was like, yeah. She did her cute little “Bye” right after, much like Gal did. I knew she would stop at the Burger Place, so I walked slow and watched her talk to 2 people as I intended to check my phone again while waiting, but then I heard her footsteps, and we were off. So after we left the burger place I asked her how it was being 26, and she said fine I think. I asked her how her celebration was at her parent’s house, she said her brother, and sister came. Apparently, Dori has many photos on her phone so she told me she deleted our chat because it was too long and she likes to keep things neat and organized. Luckily, it was only on her end, because I Cherish every single character we share, and enjoy reading it back to myself to tread on all the memories we have on file, on the record. So after we got home nobody said anything about Dori, and they seemed to welcome her politely, and with open arms. They weren’t pissed or angry at me bringing her without any notice at all. Yonatan told her that I was going out for walks to basically search and stalk Dori, but it’s not always the Case. Yes, I have OCD, and Obsessive Habits, but don’t always have a one track mind. It’s gone from that to a subconscious, rather automatic habit from when she was here. I consider it to be very chronic. My Feelings, emotions, and scars are hidden underneath my mind and can be under my consciousness. I know I have a =n obsessive problem when even the Materials at work remind me of her, and just because she is there, doesn’t mean I can’t be. It’s very public, and I tend to keep my distance while doing my loops, only approaching her at the end and then sticking to her. I’m not sticking my nose into her business or eavesdropping on her at all. I should tell her that I am not exactly stalking or creeping on her with malintent. When Dori is at the first station at the same time, she and I already generally always in motion in our separate ways. I think there’s a difference between stalking, following someone, and walking alongside with them. I just like to have the comfort to know she is still there to ease my mind, and maybe play a little game along the way, probably something I just simply made up with my “Imagination” cue the SpongeBob Clip! Gal said this year, I should learn self control, like I did with her after a while. Like, most of the time, my Penis is desensitized to both, but when Gal sits in certain positions, or wears certain pants that reveals her but, and a sporty top like in the summer, or even one of those dresses she wears with her legs straight up on her laptop (RIP) sitting on the couch, also, that time she fell asleep on one Saturday while we were watching a Marathon of Dragonball, and she was soft and cuddly underneath her blanket. So after that we had Pasta, and the Lentil Soup with Sweet Potatoes, and Rice for Dinner. We used our Microwave because we could, and there were no rules on what goes in where like at her place. There were two towels on the Table already, so we both used them so that the Table wouldn’t get burnt / damaged. Not sure if she would have done that anyway, but she cared enough it at the moment, and used what she had in her arsenal. She says one Box, feeds 4 people, and 2 feeds 8 when I said I made too much. Dori says she is hungry every three hours when I called her out on it. We enjoyed it very much and it was a blessing to have her over again after all this time. She left a shitty present in our small bathroom, and it took a few flushes to go down all the way. I got a good look at it out of curiosity, and it was grey and strange colored in kinda clumps. Maybe even a little unhealthy, but hey, it’s the first girl poop I have ever seen in my life to my recollection. It did not come out of a Unicorn’s Butt, and did not have any rainbows or glitter in it. After that we sat down to listen to the conversations between shay, gal, and Yonatan, who was still wearing a mask because he thought I was still contagious with Corona. One thing I remember Shay saying is about the madrichim leaving, switching roles, and having us handle ourselves for a while. I told him Shay the Madrich was mine, even if it was barely once a week. He usually has school or something, or we are busy with cooking and cleaning, so we don’t get to do some of the fun stuff between Madrich and Tenant, but we manage. I went to the bathroom and changed my pants. Dori sat and listened. I invited her for Cards and she wanted to jump into the conversation. I handed her the Astrology Book that’s been sitting at my desk for a while. She seemed to read it from front to back, but said it wasn’t anything too special. Here’s the fun part. She had a personal conversation with Gal about her relationship with me, starting off with what Yonatan had said about the aim, search, target, and following of which he accused me of and blatantly told Dori. She deserves to know, so She thanked him at the end. She and I talked about my intimate feelings, and the side hugs, how we are making more contact, and are very open about things, but apparently not enough. We sat on the Balcony and briefly discussed my OCD with the Chairs. She wanted to talk in Hebrew first. We actually have Chairs to sit on now, mine is sitting somewhere in a Distribution Center, but not really sure where, but it’s nearby. I started to tell them, “Well, you want me to dig myself a Deep Hole?” Essentially making myself very guilty of what was about to be said, and went on with the conversation. We went over the neediness at Rami Levi which really irritated her. Gal asked if I had walked with her or followed, her and Dori said I walked with her, and then at the end I indeed waited for her outside. But she said I have been better with that and message her less, so that’s a plus. I told her via Gal I wanted to be more than friends, but she is more comfortable staying friendly to one another like we are now. I told her at the beginning she made her stance clear, and I remember that. I don’t think I’ve mentioned it. We are less afraid to make contact with each other via side hugs, or regular hugs, no hand holding though. We might not do that as much anymore because she knows I have complications with making contact with people. Side hugs are covered from jacket to jacket, so it’s all good. No Skin involved, at least in the winter. It would get really sweaty and uncomfortable during some Summer Nights. Gal brought up the Psychologist, and brought up the meetings with Yoel the Israeli guy, and Yoel, the guy from the Jews for Jesus group at his office space, on the week that Dori left, and I was devastated, broken, depressed, and my heart shattered to pieces with fear, and anxiety that I would barely get to see her again. Yes, it is about an Hour walking, but the Bus gets there in a Snap. Either the 77 or 18 will get her there in about 20 minutes, so I mean, it’s accessible, but there’s no point. I can see how it can be comfortable living there all secluded, I feel it when walking through the Mesila the 2 times I’ve walked over there. Walking through the Park across from the Pais arena is starting to feel special. Wide open fields of Grass while Children and adults are enjoying themselves, sometimes with their pets, running wild and free, right under Dori’s Nose. I think it’s becoming a long distance Hub, and holding a place in my heart, but not at much as when I check if the Hatches are open, and the lights are on at her Parent’s House, walking around for about 5 hours to every single corner and store like I did this week when it was warm, and Youtube was slow. I barely even walk that way anymore besides walking home from work, but most of the time I just take a Bus, and that Bus passes through her house, and I can’t see the windows from there. Plus, Kol HaNeshamah is usually only open during services for me, and the Mall / Surrounding stores have been exhausted and I am bored of going there and seeing the same things over and over. I barely go to that Park with the Bathroom unless I need to go, or I want to walk through it. I especially enjoy that area during the sunset. I told her I also watched the Sunset every day, but didn’t mentioned where, or that is was in the vicinity of her parent’s house in very close proximity. I even went to that weird park in Green Baka where the Books are, and discovered a small Dog Park there after using the bathroom to pee. On our way from the Station there was a purply, pink, colorful sunset over to the right, and Dori was thrilled and amazed by the beauty. I thought of walking to Makor Haim, but then I would have to walk about a big loop, or turn back around early to avoid the slope with terrible pavement at the end. We brought up the times I walked past her parents house to check the windows to see which lights we on, and she was very uncomfortable about that. I had been exposed, but the truth will come to light eventually I guess. We both seemed to benefit from the conversation, I mean, it was bound to happen eventually. I am glad that it happened with Gal being the Mediator. Basically, everything that I have been telling Gal and Shay behind the scenes was brought into fruition. I tried to keep everything from Dori to protect her like when she asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and maybe a few other occasions, I kept it to myself, even if she asked me to just say it. Dori wants to see thought me, and be transparent with me. All of the things she processed were kinda scary, and she wanted to put me in her shoes to see how it would feel. I mean, we know our boundaries, but there are other boundaries that I’ve set for myself that nobody really knew about. I told her that I knew her patterns, and routes and that she was very predictable, I mean, she must have known it was not by accident that we meet, and was slightly irritated about the whole “Divine Timing” spiel. She might act upon this subject and change her ways. She wants to be able to feel safe, and trust me. I told Abigail that I was Pretty sure I was not put on this planet to instill the fear of God in a 26 year old from Hungary’s Eyes / mental status. I brought up walking / escorting her to her parent’s place, and now to the Bus, but I don’t get on with her, no matter how much I want to, maybe one day, I will take the long journey back there and we will make some magic food in the kitchen, of which I am familiar with now, maybe even meet her Roommate, Naomi. I told Gal that Dori kept telling me she is a strong, independent woman, and she is completely find with doing things on her own and in her own way, like OCD. We both hope the conversation we had tonight will go for the better, and not ruin everything. Gal said other people would just get up, leave, or walk away not to deal with it, but Dori stuck around, and I respect her and take our friendship very seriously, not that I don’t have Gal as an outlet, I need someone there for me, and all those feelings at I had for Gal at the beginning transferred over, so I’m not sure how things will continue from this point. Yoel and I don’t meet anymore, and Shira is in Bidood, also Abigail is way too busy with school to video chat with me, but we still exchange messages. Gal took about 10 Selfies with us and I will be receiving them shortly. I made sure Dori was comfortable in it and she made sure that it wasn’t only us in the photos. She sent me 3, but I’m pretty sure she snapped more than that, I’m not gonna be greedy, these are perfect! Along those same lines, I brought up all the times I kinda snuck up on her on the tracks and asking if it was okay for me to walk with her and every single time she said it was fine, and she was okay with it, if she had a problem, she would kindly let me know like we went over at our meeting, maybe she wanted to dish some stuff out while Gal was still here, or have a nice Girl to Girl talk with someone who was familiar with me, because much like going to the bathroom together, they like to talk about guys too. The Balcony was kinda cold and windy, even with a jacket. So after the night was over, she wanted to go home, so we went to our local bus stop, we shook hands, and waited for the bus. The 18 Came and we said good night, and she thanked me for being honest. I re sent her Gal’s Digits. I told her that Today was Gal’s Last shift, and she was like “Oh really?” and I was like, Yup, she is moving on to a High Tech Company elsewhere making more money, and doing what she is passionate about. That’s one of the reasons I invited her over, to say goodbye, just like all of us are doing, yes, just like Hila, and Eitom, it’s goodbye forever. At least Hila left us some Magnets behind, Eitom? Yeah, we pretty much wanted to get rid of him. However, Gal’s social media on Instagram is still Public, but I am blocked, and her Facebook, well, there’s something on it that loads. At least last time I checked, I am not crazy obsessed about it anymore. I think the Number we have on Gal is her main and only number, seeing that we’ve only seen her with one singular phone, at least with us. Dori said that she had some vegan cake for her birthday, and I asked if it was chocolate, and she said yes, but no chocolate suflet, which she told he was her favorite dessert. We didn’t go to the Tu B’Shvat thing together, she was probably tired, and forgot all about it. It would have been a long night in limbo. I thought to myself the next day “What is our next step, and where do we go from here?” as I am writing this, I haven’t messaged her since last sunday, partially because of Bidood, and not really being home or having anything to say that won’t get very vauge one word / emoji answers that give me nothing to work with. Not really sure what kinds of answers I want, but still, even if she is the silent type, I want more than that. She didn’t want to watch TV or Movie today, as she left with us. Yonatan came out and did some Parkour, Dori was impressed. Originally, they wanted to eat at Bagel Cafe, which is good for me, but they need Tav Yarok, even to sit outside, plus, it was cold, so, not really worth it, especially since we have plenty of pasta, soup, rice, and other deliciousness that I created on my own and with shay in the fridge, still good. In the end, they went to Pizza Sababa and ate in the Booth. I took a look at the ripped up booth and was like “I am going home” in an hour, I was going to the first station to check this thing out if it is happening. At the end of the day, I got what I wanted, and was pretty much satisfied, I think we were both glad at tonight’s success. I typed this whole thing in an hour. Gal got us some Cups with Special Stickers that changed Colors with Hot Water. Pretty cool, made of Glass. I am not going to use it, but I will keep the photographs and still frames in my mind. Like the song “Good Riddance” says. Gal asked me what I was thinking of and I said “Puppies, Babies, and Cute Kittens” like the one I say in a lady’s arms. She asked how I would feel tomorrow, and I said I think I’ll be fine. Dori wore her white beanie, black jacket, blue shoes, some thin leggings, and some Gloves. She was easy to identify as we looped around each other at the station, pretending not to see each other. We both really love that place, I have friends there, and have a nice little seed or memories that flourished from there. I asked her if she was cold and she was fine. I said I don’t have any room in my stomach or in my heart at the moment when we walked to the Bus Stop. The 18 came and with her Blind Vision asked “is this the 18?” I said yeah. The 77 came pretty much right after, it’s her better preference. Bigger Bus, more direct. She gets off at San Martin, down the street from Shaked. It was a good night, and we were all happy and got along. 1 1/2 Hours of Typing Later. The boys and Gal went to Silo for Drinks. Shmuel did not leave us any more this week, so we had to improvise. I came out as they were coming back. There was Music at Silo, but no Tu B’Shvat or anything related at the first station, just an empty stage and seats in the crowd. I noticed they got new Chairs at the Silo Salon, they look comfy, and new from what I could see. The Door was open, and I would have gone in had I needed to pee, but I already went in the dirty, piss pools bacteria filled stalls at the public bathrooms at the first station. I had to go really badly, and didn’t expect to be so full. I guess I drank a lot of water, expecting to go to the Mall and Pee there, or somewhere in the Silo Cafe, but I was brave and went to the closest place available. We talked about how I really enjoyed walking around my usual route, and that most of the time, it’s not to seek her. I enjoy walking around on my own with no strings attached, not that Dori really has me on a leash, but I am very attached to her more than I should be. Stronger than any gorilla glue, we have something special going on between us keeping our relationship and friendship alive and burning with a bright flame. My walks are not related to Dori, especially since I know for a fact that she is at her other house, far away, but sometimes, it’s still possible whenever she is local or long distance for her to be at the first station. I am pretty sure she isn’t going to be out two nights in a row, afterall, she is schizophrenic, and there’s little chance she will come all the way up here to talk to people and go home, but much like I go out, she has an obsession to go out and do her work so her day and life feel more complete, just like me, but I am human, and have limits to how far my legs and brain will take me. Like of course, if I see her, and she sees me, I will take the opportunity brought forth to me and say hi. I should probably stop doing so many loops around the station and just go. Actually, today I went outside the square to the Gas Station, where the Skate Park is, and then waited for her to leave, clearly passing by behind her while she was distracted. I even walked out of the first station onto David Remez where the Busses are. I thought of going up to the Balcony and observing from there, assuming she would be in view, but I did not. I went up there once, and that was enough. I told her about waking away from her at the books and Friday when I went to Kol HaNeshamah, and the time we walked back and forth 6 hours. She was also needy in her walking then, so we have similar traits. I tried stopping her, but then I just let her have at it, and spend more time together, sacrificing my legs and stamina for the next early Morning when I had to go to work. She understood why I liked Gal so much and pointed out that I liked her socks as well her own. I also hinted that I liked Gal for being super pretty, but stated that it was not a competition and everything and everyone has their own beauty. I winked and was reminded that she is not a subject and she is embarrassed when people talk about her about stuff like what we did at the beginning which was basically invasive therapy the started the whole drama / social media dilemma, also the whole touching thing was mentioned. I didn’t mention how much Gal and I argued and fought together, all the avoidance games, arguments, bickering, and much more bitterness between us. The whole thing with Allah and God loves you, calling her out on it. Being desperate trying to find any way to help her like when she moved, or finding any excuse or event just to have her with me on our presence. The fact that I have been walking around the first station and the other way long before I knew Dori. It’s long, it’s straight, and the pavement is flat without many rocks or bullshit. I love walking there, and it’s become a good habit of mine. It brings me comfort, a d strong legs, also socialization and stimulation of the brain after long periods of time online, alone in my room. We talked about the enormous amounts of writing in my Blog, about Gal, and now even more juicy details with Dori in it. Trust me when I say this, they aren’t short, and are as detailed as possible. I told Dori I was writing for about 2 hours to round up the time, that I was flushing out my feelings out via my blog. I later thanked her for coming, and understanding with a Heart at the end. I am glad she is still sticking with me. She is pretty much my best and only friend, and I never want to pressure her to do anything she doesn’t want to. Accidents happen sometimes, and I go beyond the line / limit. Most of the time, we talk about it, and things get clarification. Then things get better. I one of our last walks I have a recollection of hearing Billie Eillsh’s “Lovely”. Also, Dori was singing a song in Hebrew, I didn’t recognize it. Gal had asked if she could share the text message I sent to her earlier with Dori, I said sure. I told her I was walking around the first station, for was here, but we were not together. Shay asked her about the new house, and she said the exact address, but is it actually in Katamonim? I said it was small and cozy. We then went over each of our Birthdays, except for Gal’s, which is March 4th 1997. Gal had turned on the heater before I got home, Gal was cold and my room was like a hotbox / Oven. I had to sit in the living room and eat my Apple while Yonatan put Jams on from his small Hard Drive. My perspective on waking with her may be a little different, but it’s still needy and very compulsive and my brain and thought don’t know what they want from it anymore. She asked me how Mesila in English, and we discussed different ways to say “Tracks, Walkway, Path” and maybe a few other things. Afterall, it was a old converted railroad, so I could different people could call if different things, just like Spaghetti and pasta are not exactly the same in my opinion. One comes in shapes, and the Spaghetti is generally those long ones that you have to snap off in the middle to cook properly. The fact that I have woken up with a lot of separation anxiety with gal, not sleeping too well last night, but I manage to get a little. Woke up at 6:00 to Alarms, and then more alarms, and more alarms and vibrations from Ariel and Gal’s Phone. She was waiting for the bathroom when I came out wearing what looked like sporty black pants, but I couldn’t see anything buy her figure without my contacts. She left at 8:15 like any other day, with a simple “bye” I told her good luck as she closed our door and a chapter in our lives. She took all her bedding and stuff from the closet in two bags, and headed out. I am sure I am not the only one being affected by Gal’s departure, Shay probably got hit the most because they were super close. Maybe I could have gone for another walk with her after she went out last night, but I was busy typing and thawing out from my previous walking extravaganza. I made some Almond Tea, took a shit, prepped some Gum just in case, and then talked with Mark Williams for a bit over messenger after him seeing my status that most things and people don’t last forever, and they are destined to end after a certain point in the time space continuum. I ate an Orange, a Banana, and later a Fig Bar out of laziness, and not knowing what to eat. I Brushed my Teeth with Toothpaste before I hopped into the shower while the coast as clear. I didn’t have any desire to shower a few days, probably because of depression, and that I wasn’t feeling dirty, or stinky. Can you feel the love tonight and other songs poking at my memories obsessively. No more crappy bed for gal. Taking all her sheets, dropping off her house key and key to lock box at Shekel. Eshar left too, but we weren’t too close, and he said he didn’t want to stay in contact with me. My eye candy besides Dori is gone unless I get lucky and find someone in the street, or someone on the internet that consistently uploads photos and images that will satisfy me, kinda like the porn. A lot of processing and analyzing came out when I typed this last night. I looked into Gal and Dori’s eyes while chatting. I took our conversation seriously. We want things to heal, and not be broken or damaged. What doesn’t kill us, can only make us stronger, like Kanye west said. Sometimes, life / god throws you a nice unexpected curveball and we need to learn to manage and overcome it. All the times she called me dear, darling, other names meaning precious, like “Draga” in Hungarian, the emoji’s as well, it was easy to feel the love between us, “but who cares?, I want more” like Ariel Sang in the little mermaid. Surprisingly enough, despite the cold and winds, my eyes did not tear up one bit, and no tissues were used. She stopped to go back to the Books for a few moments, probably to talk to the guy who was there. When we got to the Apartment, the lights were mostly off, at least till we left. Like, even the usual lights. They were sitting in Darkness for some reason and I was mostly okay with it, but for myself, it needed some light. Dori asked what game Yonatan was playing, it was Daxter and Jax, I played that game on my PSP before I raged out and smashed it. They did not play overcooked. I think Gal let them know she was coming and talked them down a bit, but if not, then even better. There is some maturity in the apartment. I told her I liked her black and white scarf. Her favorite fashion accessory. *From Shaya’s Email.* “In our life we experience the same thing. Our life can be plain vanilla, every day the same thing. No ups or downs. No challenges â just boring. However, God says, âI have a deal for you. I am going to throw you a curve ball. I am going to ask you to change your nature, just for a little while. If you go with the flow, a reward will come as well. I may ask you to stay still, or I may ask you to run. Whatever I ask, it will be a challenge, and if you succeed, the reward that will come out of your hard work will make you much greater and stronger than what you were as a person before you started. âThe challenges that we face are not here to break us but are here to strengthen us. Take up the challenge with love as it comes from God, as it was all part of the plan from the beginning. I talked to Safta and Mom today, said Shabbat Shalom. The Signal was bad due to the weather. I also turned on my Radiator, and our regular heat today, but only for a bit. Ariel and I were sneezing. Yonatan and Shay still aren’t awake and it is already 11:15. Ariel did some Zoom Class, and played Guitar. The Words “I love you, but as a friend” came out yesterday. Not sure how I didn’t write about happy balance between houses, I think she’s pretty set in her place, but still, she may come visit. Pretty sure she isn’t doing a week here, and a week there. She is definitely not going to be present with all this Rain. I was Brave and stupid and went for a walk in it with my Umbrella. I soaked my Shoes in many Puddles, along with my socks, the green things, and the top part of the shoe. My Shoes Bubbled, probably because of all the Soap and Cleaner I sprayed on it a long long time ago. There was a lot of Black Lint in there, so I dried everything, and we should be good on the usage on the shoes, plus, they are partially cleaner than they were prior. It’s gonna rain for a while, so that’s why I said “Fuck it, I wanna go out and self heal myself, it can’t be that bad” I was almost the only person on the Tracks, but there were a few folks in the tents and chairs by the stage sitting and talking. It was rather Dark, and gloomy, but I went and I did it. I felt a little bit better afterwards. I chewed some Gum and had a tiny bit of Pasta just to be safe that I could keep it down. I am feeling slightly nauseous, and having my radiator on in my room suffocates me a little bit, but I think I need it today. My Door is wide open, but still. It’s not Corona, but a lack of sleep and possible mix of mental and physical exhaustion. My Mood will get better with sleep, sunshine, socializing, and dry, warm weather. At least that’s how I think things will go. I took my Sunglasses and used my Hood instead of a Hat today, made my glasses tight. it sucks when all the events you wanted to attend are cancelled due to the weather / corona and it’s like a desolate apocalypse outside when I am the only one walking. I mean, it’s nice to have the place all to myself, but still, I wish it was full of life like it always is. The whole week is gonna be dark and rainy, so, here comes depression and anxiety! https://www.webmd.com/balance/guide/ayurvedic-treatments. (Ayurveda)
Comradery is a mutual trust and friendship among people who spend a lot of time together. Adamant is refusing to be persuaded or to change one’s mind. bike shedding is a Futile investment of time and energy in discussion of marginal technical issues.
. The rest of her life is still a mystery. There are some sexy photos of her modeling and doing music but nothing too special that I can’t see in tights. 
She has a lot of work concealed inside the private areas.” “okay, so I looked at every single thing she’s got. Photos since 2007. Nothing special. after that the files are meh, the songs and the little movie script are also meh. Got a image of her Passport. She was Born 12.7 or 7.12 1999, making her 24. Her name is Noy, and just noy. I think her parents are from Ma’ale Adumim. That Eldar guy is most likely her boyfriend, not from her family. Different last names. Noy really cares about her environment. She enjoys Nostalgic Rosmarin Chocolate. Noy’s got a Giant Blue one, Heavily Used! 
Danny's Life 